Introspection ... Wordpress Style!

The Confused Phase
I wanted to blog, I thought I had loads of ideas & that thousands of people would flock their computers just to catch a glimpse of what I wrote so I started a blog after a lot of research. And that research mainly focused on whether I choose Wordpress or the one that sounds like Clogger. Once I decided to use Wordpress(for no particular reason back then) I was all excited. I created the profile with my very own name in the top bar! Ah! My name! My ego was on cloud 9. Went to “New Post” & realized that I was not good enough to blog! So I did the easiest thing that I could think of. I went to Youtube & uploaded the “Nikes 1st cricket commercial” video. Then the wait began. I began checking everyday. On the 3rd day or so the page visits went from 0 to 1. Wooooohooo I had my 1st visitor! Thank God to that one soul who finally came & saw it. I tried to find a way to track him down & mail him an official thank you letter but that ofcourse was’nt possible.

The Blog Phase
Every blogger worth his salt will tell you that the “visitors” & the “comments” on his blog excite him! Now that I knew that there was atleast this one guy out there I began a barrage of posts… Within 3 days I posted few videos, an article on torrents & what not. The next 2 months seemed to be so so so dead! Nobody came! I mean nobody! Not even that 1st guy! I knew I should’ve chosen Flogger over Wordpress…or was it Clogger… I don’t know but Im sure more than 1 visitor would’ve come on Slogger.


The Damage Control Phase
Now I was certain that if this blog had to serve any purpose I gotta stop waiting & do something. I started posting a steady stream of articles, some good & some pathetic. And I did something extra. I joined facebook. So I began posting the articles on my wall (Ofcourse Wordpress didn’t have the auto share with facebook like they do now) The poor guys on the my friends were fooled into visiting my blog & slowly the visitors increased, not by much. Maybe 10 or so which was definitely more than the 1 which I was happy with on the 1st day. Monthly visitors increased to about 45 or so & once hit 70. Life was good!

1st Retirement
The sudden interest that I had slowly began to fade away. People were visiting but not a single comments, not a single “like”. Man cannot live on bread alone, he needs his ego fed too. Im not someone with an iron will, I give up very easily so I did the best thing! I disappeared from the blogging scene. Infact I didnt even open my blog site for about 6 months.

The “Im Back” Phase
One day after 6 months or so I just logged into my account & I noticed that the last 6 months showed a steady stream of visitors, not much about 20 to 30 per month even though I hadn’t even logged in! Yeah that really amused me! So people do come here! I posted with gusto for the next 4 months & was happy with the response


2nd Retirement
The topics began fading, the mind stopped working. I kept getting flashes of brilliant ideas but when I sat to write them out I couldn’t go past the 1st two or three sentences. I realized that it was time to leave. It was time to give up once again and that’s something Im really good at!

The Daily Post Era
I came back somewhere around the february of this year. I logged into Wordpress with a lotta difficulty coz I had forgotten my password, they sent me a temporary one which no one would remember even if they tried & was pleasantly surprised with the better, sleeker & a livelier interface. But for me the best part was the “The Daily Post” initiative along with the “Featured Post” & “Freshly Pressed” features. Wordpress had finally become a “reading” site along with the “writing” site. I became a part of the daily post challenge & the results are here to see for everyone! I have readers visiting my site, commenting & also discussing the posts! A thousand readers a month is definitely a big improvement from 50…don’t you think so? :-D So 3 years with this site has definitely been a great ride so far & hopefully this time Im here to stay :-D

Top 5- Most Embarrassing Moments

Moment No.1
The “Wrong Number Moment”. Im not talking about the wrong number of the phone variety. This is the one about the mistaken identity. Here’s what happened to a friend of mine. He walks into a cyber café, sees a long row of guys sitting on the computers with their backs turned towards him. He notices one guy there who’s back of the head has a remarkable resemblance to a close friend of his & so goes & slaps him his hard on his head saying “Yo dude, what you doing here.” Unfortunately for him when the head turns its that of a complete stranger who himself looks totally confused & obviously in pain. The entire cyber café is looking at my friend who just feels like digging a hole & disappearing but cant find a shovel. He mumbles a few apologies & runs out leaving behind him a roar of laughter.

Moment No.2
The “My Friends Suck Moment.” Everyone has friends who like to pull a fast one on their buddies. Our friends group is no different. Our group of 5 guys went for a movie. There’s this one guy among us, lets call him X, he’s a bit notorious & crazy. Once we were all seated in the theatre, he gets up & sits on another friend of mine & goes “keeku keeku”. Now that’s bloody embarrassing for the rest of us with the crowd looking at us. During the interval we decided to trick him. We went in early & moved one row behind from our place. Some others came & occupied our earlier seats. The lights went off. Mr X was late & made his way in the dark to the place we were sitting earlier. And as expected he sits on the guy there and goes “keeku keeku” We at the back are falling off our seats laughing. When he realized his mistake he made his way back to us sheepishly & vowed never to speak to us again.

Moment No. 3
The “Stud Moment”. This was narrated to me by a friend of mine. Guys always want to be the studs in when there are girls around. There was this guy, lets call him Mr X (not to be confused with the previous Mr X, You can call him Mr Y if you please) who walked everyday outside a girls college with sunglasses, jacket & what not. He would walk by with a swagger making sure that everyone around him noticed him & at the same time he checked out every girl. But then came that fateful day when Mr X (or Mr Y for some) was walking by with that same swagger, he slips & falls into a small puddle right in front of those very girls. Now girls being girls began giggling & stifling laughs & that poor guy was never to be seen again there.

Moment No. 4
The “Sleep Walking Moment.” This one happened to a friend of mine when I was there & undoubtedly caused my biggest laughing episode. As kids we had these various camps in the remotest of areas where hygiene & cleanliness was not in the forefront. It was to make us “TOUGH”. Army training tough. We were posted to have duties in shifts at night which was a part of our training programme. One night after my shift I woke up my friend to start his shift. The sleepy guy walked to the restroom(it was barely one with animal & human poop) all around. So he walks sleepily & suddenly realizes that there’s something right in front of him that he shud’nt be stepping on. So he jumps, slips & unfortunately lands on it!!! To this day we laugh remembering that moment!

Moment No. 5
The “That Was’nt Me Moment” This is one of the common, silly, gross for many and still one of the funniest moments for all. Its when you or someone in your group decides or without deciding releases some air just to gain some relief! It’s a an “EEEEEWWWWW….. moment” Some of you just reading this might call it “EEEwww gross”. But then it does happen. And if the person admits that “Yes that was me”… he get the “EEEwwww shameless” reaction & if he says it wasn’t him then he’ll get the “Guilty conscience, that’s why he’s denying….EEwwww” reaction.

The Battle Of The Ages

The "Daily Post" Challenge for today is a good one & so I thought I would give it a try :-D

Ryan17 : Hi Im Ryan. Young, smart & talented. I think Im the best there was, the best there is & the best there will be! Who are you?
Ryan27 : Wow! Im Ryan too! And Im much smarter, more talented & wiser with age. And your right about the “best there will be” atleast sonny.
Ryan17 : Wiser with age is just a nice way of saying “Im old”. Ewwww your 27??? That’s like …old man! That’s like in the year 2011. I guess by then people will talk to each other online more than in person.
Ryan27 : Errr…. Your right about the online part actually. Oh and come on, 27 is not old! Im like the most eligible bachelor, you’re just a loser kid with an attitude problem.
Ryan17 : Who you calling loser, Im 17, I have all the time in the world ahead of me, unlike you. Chicks dig me
Ryan27 : Girls don’t “dig you”. They just find you cute, that’s all! Havent you heard that girls your age prefer guys my age?
Ryan17 : (angry) That’s true. They think being with old men like you makes them more matured & more in demand. Bah! That’s the only thing you have going for you so don’t be so happy about it. Don’t forget that I have 10 more years to do all the exploring I need.
Ryan27 : (Now angry) That’s true too. But I make money now. And girls love guys who can pay for them right? And what do you plan to do in those 10 years?
Ryan17 : Ok I don’t care about the girls, I have other things that make me better than you.
Ryan27 : Like what sonny?
Ryan17 : Like… I don’t use geeky words like “sonny”. I have so many things I still can do! So many adventures to see, so much to explore.
Ryan27 : I’ve done it all. Flying, skiing, snowboarding, girls, money…what else? Its not that big a thing. After sometime you get bored.
Ryan17 : I can become rich & successful. I know for sure that I can become the next Mark Zuckerberg when Im 27
Ryan27 : 1st of all Mark Zuckerberg was still dating his girlfriend when you’re 17 which makes the example redundant coz there is no Facebook yet for you! And even I made plans of being a millionaire when Im 27.
Ryan17 : Are You?
Ryan27 : Not even close.
Ryan17 : See you’re an even bigger loser than I thought. Im sure you didn’t have any planning, any goal, that’s why.
Ryan27 : I had all that. But then everyone cant be a Zuckerberg. There are other things which come in the way. Studies, work, responsibilities. Things that cant be fast forwarded. Luck only plays a small part in ones life & that too all are not blessed with good luck, there’s something called bad luck too!
Ryan17 : Now that’s a long boring lecture which only a 27 yr old could come up with.
Ryan27 : You might think that now but as you get older you’ll know better.
Ryan17 : Atleast I can run faster.
Ryan27 : I don’t need to, I have my car. I can also buy whatever I want.
Ryan17 : Yeah but you have a bigger waistline. I don’t have to sit in an office all day.
Ryan27 : Yeah but I don’t have to answer anyone.
Ryan17 : Yeah but you have to look after others, others look after me.
Ryan27 : I know to play golf.
Ryan17 : Yuck I don’t even wanna know how to play golf.Oh boy then am I lucky coz right now I have no responsibilities at all! No money problems or work problems. I can do whatever I want. But I do wanna grow up fast.
Ryan27 : That’s true. But then why you wanna grow up? Isnt it the best life? I wish I were a student again!
Ryan17 : Nah dude… There’s no freedom. I don’t have money of my own. Who wants to be stuck in this boring classroom. I wanna work. Explore. I wanna be the 27 yr old whom both the younger & older chicks wanna die to be with.
Ryan27 : Trust me boy, Ur much safer & happier in the classroom. Once you come out you’ll know the harsh reality of the world outside. Now you’re protected. Freedom is over rated. And yeah girls or rather chicks that you keep talking about. Those will happen when it has to happen. The more you catch a butterfly the more it runs away, but you sit still & it’ll come to you.
Ryan17 : Huh? Why are we talking about butterflies? Do people your age call chicks butterflies?
Ryan27 : Now that was a wasted example. Just forget the example & take the rest.
Ryan17 : Btw does Pamela Anderson still look as hot on the beach during your time.
Ryan27 : Not really, and now there are better ones too ;-)
Ryan17 : Arent we supposed to argue the other way round, are you supposed to support your age & me mine?
Ryan27 : That’s the problem sonny, there’s no argument at all! Coz Im wiser so trust me when I say that “The grass is always greener on the other side”

Disclaimer : All the views posted above are fictional & do not reflect the authors or anyone elses views. Any resemblance to reality is purely a co-incidence

TOP 5 – Most Annoying Facebook Users

User No. 1 -The perpetual status updater.

Ok we get it. You have lots on your mind. But that doesn’t mean that you have to let everyone know every damn lousy thought of yours EVERY HALF AN HOUR! “Im going shopping” – “Im so excited sitting in the car to go shopping”-  “Listening to the radio in the car on the way to shopping” -“Im almost there, I can feel goosebumps”  .SOMEBODY PLEASE THROW HER OUT OF THAT MOVING CAR!!!!!  And also get me her phone when you’re at that. It doesn’t help the fact that there is that one guy who’ll be replying to each of those status msgs which is more  probably even more annoying.

User No. 2 - The Drawing Room Farmer

Probably the most annoying one. Too lazy to get their asses of their couch to even stretch but ever the most hardworking farmer. Nobody would mind if they kept their farms to themselves. It’s the 130 notifications of “Feed my chicken, Wash my cow, build me a barn” that makes you wanna throw a goat at them which in all probability they would like & send you another wave of notifications asking for more. Go out into the sun & do some REAL gardening people!!!! And when you do, please spare us the updates.

User No. 3 - The FDA ( Facebook Display Of Affection)

“I love you honey bun, I love you too chilli cheese sandwich, you make my heart go Shalala boom boom"…. Somebody please hand me a gun so that I could go BOOM BOOM!! Yes everyone wants to show their love to someone on FTO( FB, Twitter, orkut) but not every hour & not on others news feeds. There are something called cellphones for that people!!! That small thing used to speak to people. Or mails, or Messages! What are you trying to achieve by showing your love on FB which in all probability is seen by everyone except your loved one!

User No. 4 -  The Friender

Pardon the use of a non existent word but its that annoying person who “wants to be your friend”. You have  no idea who or what he is but he insists that you could be his new best friend! And its not just the girls who are haunted by these creepy guys!!! Guys are stalked too! Ignoring them probably tells them that your interested in them. Till that fateful day when you report them.

User No. 5 – The join my page/group/cause

Somebody is just so bored that he decides to create a page/community/group of something that they like & thinks that its imperative that you like the same thing! And after a 100 mails asking you to join the group you’d probably start hating the ‘cause’ even if it’s a good one. Nobody wants to take the trouble of actually doing something for the cause, we just have to join to show our “support” . Two months later you visit the same group you’d find it abandoned filled with dubious links!

Bonus one

This is the “I broke up with my ex so its time for me to humiliate him/her on my wall” User. And then begins a barrage of hints, taunts, insults, jokes on that poor ex. Doesn’t matter whether the ex is good or bad, 200 people will convince this user that he/she was right in dumping him/her though they have no idea about whats going on.  Yes this user is stupid & annoying but so are the ones who pretend to ”publicly” advice them  when in reality they don’t care & are infact secretly enjoying the public washing of linen so to say. Why watch reel life soaps when you can get real ones ones on FB!

Top 5- UNSOLVED MYSTERIES

1. ATLANTIS- THE LOST PARADISE

Plato, the Greek philosopher believed that there existed a civilization about 3,500 years ago in the great Atlantic Ocean. He said that it was a paradise, a city consisting of an enormous palace & a beautiful temple believed to be covered entirely of gold & silver. The interior was of ivory & the walls & pillars were covered with orchil. It was a civilization both prosperous & happy until that fateful day when the volcano which stood by it erupted & flattened the entire civilization. A once bustling city covered now with ash & rubble.

Many believe that this was a mere figment of imagination of Plato’s mind. The story was told by him to his nephew Critias . It was propagated that the remains of the city lie in the depth of the Atlantic ocean which led to a series of explorations & studies. An American by the name Ignatius Donnelly even published a book ‘Atlantis- The Antediluvian World’ which went on to become a best seller.

To this day there are believers & there are skeptics. The controversy seems to flare up all of a sudden like it did in 1912, 1968, 1975. But to this day nobody can rule out or confirm the existence of the Atlantis

2. BERMUDA TRIANGLE

Probably one of the most famous mysteries of all time. Situated in the Western Atlantic between Florida, Bermuda & Puetro Rico, this seemingly haunted area seems to have swallowed up 100s of ships. In the beginning it was said that it was imaginary, people sat up & took notice when the number of  casualties went on increasing. Some believed that it was due to extreme gravitational & magnetic deviation that radios & compasses fail. Some even believed that the modern machinery lost in the Atlantic civilization were still working at the base of the triangle. Sand there are those that believe that the triangle is a hunting ground for alien visitors

In December 1945 five torpedo bombers disappeared in the triangle. The last words radioed from the ship were “we don’t know which way is west.Everything is wrong..Strange we cant be sure of any direction.Even the ocean doesn’t look as it should.

Over the years a number of explanations have been given & now most of them do not believe in the myth of the Bermuda triangle. But it will continue to be the most interesting topics of discussion...

3. BLACK HOLE OF SIBERIA

On june 30^th, 1908 Siberia experienced a mid air explosion. Everything within a 25 mile radius was destroyed. Trees uprooted, houses burnt, all the fauna killed. People said they saw a fire ball in the sky which was so powerful that it burnt their clothes. A similar thing was said to have happened in 1960 too.

A number of theories were given. One said it must’ve been a meteorite though it was never found. Next one in 1950 said that it might be due to impact of mid air nuclear explosion of some advanced civilization. The most accepted one is that it was due to a comets head entering the earths atmosphere.

The latest explanation is that a tiny black hole hit Siberia. According to Scientists a black hole is a huge lump of matter which had shrunk so much that it had become invisible. But light rays passing near it are drawn into it. And because of its density it generates such gravity that not even light can escape through it.

All in all its still not clear as to what exactly hit Siberia that fateful day!

4. The UFO’s

Any mystery has to have UFO’s mentioned in them. Reports of UFO sightings have come from 133 countries, nearly 82,000 sightings but 95% have been dismissed as fake. But there is still that remaining 5% that still continue to baffle everyone

Melbourne, 1978- Pilot Frederick Valentich noticed something flying towards him. He radioed saying “The thing is orbiting on top of me. Its hovering & its not an aircraft. It is…” The transmission broke off. It was thought that his plane must have crashed in the Tasmanian Sea.

This is just one of the many many “apparent” sightings.Some Scholars call it spaceships from outer galaxies. Erich Von Daniken called them "The Chariots of Gods"

There are explanations & counter arguments but the fact remains that UFO’s continue to be an interesting story to talk about.

5. THE MYSTERIOUS IRON PILLAR

In New Delhi is situated an IRON PILLAR. Its 22ft tall & has a diameter of 4 1/2 feet. It is a solid shaft of wrought iron with an ornamental top built by King Chandra. But the reason this pillar is famous is coz despite years of exposure to wind & rain it has not rusted or weakened! Erich Von Daniken in his book said that the Pyramids & the Iron Pillar could not have been built without “Super Intelligent” forces.

Over the years, myths have surrounded this pillar as well. It is said that if anyone is able to encircle the pillar, that person is supposed to be very fortunate. Whether its believable or not the mystery of the Iron pillar has not been solved despite a number of scientific tests. Maybe someday science will be able to tell us the exact material used

Weekly Photo Challenge - OLD

Often Old & New is a mere perception. Take for example the pic. If it was all dark it would've been percieved to be "old"... If it had color it would be "new".... Now is it "old" or "new"?  :-)

Weekly Photo Challenge- Ocean

A fiery sky against the relatively calm ocean. Once again Im entering a pic which I clicked rather than uploading one from google. Photoshop helped me spruce it up a bit ...

Oh The Woes Of Social Networking!!!!!

10:00 PM

It had been a hard day at the office. Deadlines, deadlines & more deadlines. It seemed never ending. Edward was finally at home away from all the madness. Its now time for the best part of the day… Social Networking!!! A term unheard of a few years back but now an indispensible part of his life. He logs on to Facebook & Twitter. His eyes move to the red flag… all he wants to know is how many updates he’s had & from whom!

He checks his updates. He’s disappointed. The “Friendship Request” he sent Michelle a colleague who worked on the floor above was still not accepted. He wondered why. Was she angry with the request? Not that she had any reason to accept it coz frankly speaking they weren’t friends. They hadn’t even spoken to each other, except a glance or two but even so, she had to accept it!! It would be a an insult of social networking proportions if she didn’t. He cursed all the girls in the world all the while checking the new pics uploaded by those of the opposite gender.

9:00 AM( Next Morning)

Edward entered the office. He looked around, but nobody seemed to be bothered that he was there. He made a mental note to spam them all with FARMVILLE requests. Nothing could be more irritating than asking someone to feed your cow 5 times a day.He walked over to his cabin. On the way he saw Loreen, another employee… she looked a li’l low but that was understandable coz she had put an inverted smiley as her status msg last night. 150 ppl had commented on it but Loreen had’nt replied. Edward cursed her, if she didn’t want anyone to know why she was sad why did she have to put up that status in the 1^st place! He had wasted an hour waiting for her reply to the 150 comments from everybody but it never came. He sat down at his table wanting some coffee but he didn’t dare touch it coz someone had put up last night on FB that coffee might contain radioactive material coz it may have come from Japan. Edward wasn’t gonna take any chances!!

10:00AM

Edward gets bored & logs in to Facebook. There were now 200 comments on Loreen’s status but still no reply from her. How come girls get so many comments? Nobody would bother if he said that he was gonn kill himself but 200 people are worried about this girls smiley. Meanwhile there’s a new development, that really got him excited. Michelle’s status said “Single Again” “OMG! THE Michelle is single again, he had been praying for that to happen for a year now. “ This has to be best news ever” he said aloud. There were already 15 guys asking her “what happened” & “Im here for you babe”  & Edward knew that  this was opportunity so he posted “ Tough times never last but tough people do” It didn’t make sense but he was too excited to think it over. He wondered if she would be impressed. In the next minute she “LIKED” what he posted & he was over the moon. He wondered what she liked about it coz he himself didn’t know what he meant. “Who cares, she likes it & that’s what matters” he thought

12:28 PM

After talking to 15 clients & solving all their problems, FB needed him again. 45 notifications! He jumped with joy wondering who had sent him so many messages only to realize that it was just another 45 guys replying to Michelle’s relationship status. He was angry. He called them all vultures & threw all the fishes of fishville at them but only in his mind. He decided to ignore Michelle. Still no sign of Susan though. “I wonder whats taking her so long to accept the he request “  He wondered. He checked that there were new pictures uploaded by his colleague. It was a party at his place house. Michelle & Susan were both there along with many other familiar faces from the office. Edward fumed. How dare they not invite him & promptly put him in his ‘ignore’ list. He then spammed him with Cityville updates.

2:00 PM

Afternoon at the office was a drag especially after a heavy lunch.  He wondered what was happening in the world of social networking. He logged in. He decided that it was time he draw some attention to himself. After thinking a lot he posted ‘ Work is killing, don’t think I can survive another day’… he waited. No comments. 10 mins…no comments, 20 mins…no comments. Cursing everyone he decided to poke Ajay. He poked back… “Oh so he is online & yet didn’t comment on my status”.  He decided to exact revenge & opened Mafia Wars & after spending 15 mins on it trying to kill him ended up losing 50,000 Mafia dollars. Nothing was going right today, the FB fortune cookie was right today when it said “You’re gonna fight a losing battle” He thought he’ll divert his mind with work.

3:18 PM

He looked up from his papers which had kept him busy for the last hour or so. Still no comments on his status. Something else caught his eye. Tania!!!! Her status said “Parents leaving to Canada, home alone for a week” He jumped with joy off his chair & landed on the floor. Heads turned towards him & he sheepishly got back on his chair. Tania was one of the office hotties & though he had never spoken to her he felt he had a chance. He immediately commented “Want some company?”.  Just then he saw that Ajay had answered a quiz which declared that he’s soulmate was Susan !!!! WTF!!! “ 1^st he doesn’t comment on my status, then he makes me lose my Mafia money & now this!!!” The nerve of the guy! Edward answered the same quiz.  Result – Ajay was his soulmate.

5:12 PM

Just done with tea break after a grueling session. Again no Coffee for him, stupid Earthquake in Japan, all the bad things happen to him only. Edward eagerly logs on to FB! YES!!!! 8 updates… he wondered how many girls commented on his status. But alas there was only one comment & … Joseph with his reply “Don’t die today dude, tomorrow is Sunday. Monday wud be better coz we’d get a holiday the next day”  Edward made a mental note to raid his farm later. Also the coffe thing was a hoax by some sadist geek who thought that it was funny. Still no news from Susan. Still no comment from Michelle & still Tania didn’t invite him home! Edward felt like he was fighting a losing battle against humanity. And Ajay still was his soulmate. Edward decided to never to use FB again!

7:00 PM

Edward decided to use Facebook again. He logged in. Antony had sent him a heart. Weird , geeky Antony. He deleted it & removed Antony from his friends list. Everything remained status quo. Except for one thing. Michelle had posted a link to her blog. Edward jumped on it. He read for what seemed an eternity at the end of which all he understood was that Michelle was single again. But that was something he already knew this morning. Oh what a waste of time! He superpoked her partly coz he was irritated & partly to get her to reply to him. He also had to delete 20 farmville requests, apparently he wasn’t the only one who spammed others with them. People were leaving the office silently.  Mafia killer Ajay, then weird Antony, Masochist Susan, Home alone Tania & single Michelle all made their way out with host of others. Nobody seemed to be talking. Why talk when you can chat on Facebook.

10:00 PM

The day has come to an end & Edward wants to have one last look at FB (one last look for the day that is) Ajay has “LIKED” his status. The nerve of the guy! Edward threw a pig at him. Michelle had changed her relationship status to “In a relationship” …. WTF that was the shortest breakup ever. Tania had put up that she was having the best time ever. Apparently now she wasn’t home alone…. And Susan had sent him a msg asking “Do I know you?” Edward decided never to use FB again & deactivated his account.

11:00 PM

Edward reactivates his account……….